still like honey on my tongue

It’s been awhile since I posted here, I know ~ a long while since I’ve wanted to do much of anything outside the routine of my days, and I don’t even know how I came upon this, but the sun shone yesterday, and I took in enough of it that it stirred some feelings of spring in me, and somehow, today, in the midst of doing something else, Robert Frost’s “way leads to way” led me here ~ so maybe that’s reason enough.

The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it ~ and with James Taylor’s voice ~ not knowing that my own James, of whom this song in so many ways reminds me, was out there somewhere ~ loving me before he knew me, as I did him.

Now, years later, my James and I have found each other at last, and this song, written for James Taylor’s newborn nephew, still makes me think of my James and the way our lives finally flowed together and our love combined us so completely that we no longer know or care to know where one of us ends and the other begins. It’s been that way for us since the beginning. It will be that way beyond the end.

When he sings, James Taylor’s voice makes me feel that love afresh. He sings, and it flows into me and wells up and suffuses my being, the way true love always does, with a deep, abiding warmth and a richness that’s like honey on my tongue . . .

This I believe

is the way life should be . . .

. . . ’cause they’re right: we may only have tonight, right now, this minute ~ relax, just be,  serene and happy in this moment ~ play the music low and sway to the rhythm of love.

Two days into spring break ~ I’m working on it . . .

Godspeed, Jake ~ and thank you for being one of my angels

An hour ago, I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. James and I held my cat, Jake, while our vet stopped him wasting away and sent him on to where I know Wills was waiting for him

When Wills passed on last year, I wasn’t there, and I took comfort in the idea that he had just passed in his sleep, his heart just slowing and stopping as he slept there at the vet’s office. Jake missed him, and looked for him for weeks after he was gone, and then he settled into being an only cat, for just about a year. Then he fell victim to the same renal failure that had called his litter mate away.

If you read this blog, you know that it was at a time when I didn’t think I could take anything more, and with the treatments I gave him and the medicine, he rallied for just about a month ~ long enough to stay with me through my husband’s surgery, long enough to see him strong enough again. Then this week, he stopped eating and drinking again, and I knew we’d have to let him go this time.

I know it’s the best thing. I know that it was better than letting him waste away and die an ounce at a time. I know it was the responsible thing to do. But it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I don’t think I could ever do it again.

Goodbye, Jake. Godspeed. I love you ~