In the end, this is the answer

Someone in my extended family died last week, by his own hand. I can’t imagine the pain he must have been in to do such a thing, and I don’t want to.

There’s been a lot of conjecture online about things he may have done, incidents that may have have happened to precipitate his disappearance and the taking of his own life. This is the bane of social media ~ the dark side of what can be a bright coin ~ that anyone can say anything he or she likes, be it truth, half-truth, or conjecture ~ and others can take up those threads and conflate other instances with what might have happened or make up falsehoods of whole cloth to support their position or opinion (because opinion it all truly is). Truths, half-truths, conjecture, conflation, and outright lies ~ there’s a reason such things are called “witch hunts.”

None of that helps anybody. None of it solves anything. What means something doesn’t take place online with “friends” you’ve never even met in person, with whom you’ve never built a real relationship, with whom it would barely make a ripple if you disappeared tomorrow. And none of what happened “then” or what someone should have done and didn’t, or did do and shouldn’t have ~ none of that solves the puzzle either. The reality is that no one can go back and do things differently because he or she is hurt or grieving or angry about what is now. Even if they could, it wouldn’t guarantee a better outcome.

“Man hands misery on to man.” Generational trauma really is a thing, and that’s something we can and should do something about. Even though it hurts, and it will; even though it’s hard, and it is; even though it scares us, some of us to the point that we refuse to look, refuse to see, and, in the rare moments it shoulders its way into memory, hope against hope that, since we don’t see it, it’s no longer there. But there has to be a way to heal these wounds, and we have to know what that is before we open our own or ask others to open theirs. There has to be a way to see that the trauma ends with this generation.

But, today, here I am, still feeling the ebb and flow in the wake. And all I can think of is this video clip from Ted Lasso of Roy Kent talking about how footballers aren’t just footballers, they’re people. And how none of us know what’s going on in each others lives. Saying, with that Roy Kent intensity, “So for Isaac to do what he did today ~ even though it was wrong ~ I give him love. … As for why he did what he did, … that’s none of my fucking business.”

This scene, from what is arguably my favorite episode of the 3rd season (yeah, I know most people pick “Sunflowers” but, for me, this is it), resonates and stays with me, because, like so much of what lies at the heart of Ted Lasso, it is true, not just in this TV show but in reality ~ and for everyone. This press conference scene and the scene between Nate and Jade that it segues into, to the strains of Bear’s Den’s “All That You Are,” and from thence to best friends Colin and Isaac.

This is the essence of Ted Lasso, even more than “Believe” ~ it is Love. Love that ties best friends, even when you discover that in some ways you’re so different; Love that is a balm when you’ve been hurt, that takes you in, comforts, and protects; Love that is compassionate, patient, kind ~ even when you don’t understand.

More importantly, this is the essence of life: Love is the answer. Even if you don’t know the question ~ and even if you think you do.

In the end, this is the answer.


Our final tally and “Lift It” gift to Steps of Faith Foundation

Happy New Year! I hope you’ve all had a wonderful holiday season and that your celebrations were full of laughter and fun and in the company of love, joy, peace, and, most of all, belief in the promise of the year ahead!

Hélène and I are so happy to report that, through sales of Lift It Like Lasso Volumes 1 & 2 between 11/11/23 and 1/1/24, we have been able to gather $340 to send to Steps of Faith Foundation!

Barbecue sauce!!

“If my maths are correct,” that’s about 68% of the cost of one prosthetic limb through the miracles Steps of Faith makes possible, and we very much hope that our donation will hasten the purchase of a prosthetic limb for someone who would still be waiting otherwise

To all those in the Lasso fan community ~ the extended Lasso family ~ who cared enough to help us make this happen, you ROCK! We so couldn’t have donated that much without your help, and we are so very grateful.

You are absolutely brilliant, and we can’t thank you enough!

And to all of you, loved ones, fans, friends, and family we’ve made along the way (so far), I wish you joy, love, laughter, and most of all, your best and happiest year ever in 2024.

See you on the beach ~

PS: If this is the first you’re hearing about Steps of Faith Foundation and the fantastic work they do, it’s not too late. Just hop on over to their website: find out about the fantastic work they do and, if you can, help them out with a bit of cash! It’s tax deductible and you’ll be helping to make a world of difference to someone. Believe it!

PSS: While you’re online, if you love word games and you love Ted Lasso (who doesn’t, right?) hop on over to Amazon and pick up your copies of Lift It Like Lasso Vol 1 and/or Lift It Like Lasso Vol 2: In which we all Believed in RomCommunism. The puzzles will transport you right back into your favorite scenes and let you hang out again with your favorite characters. And when you love it, please hop back over to Amazon and say so!

We SO appreciate you!




“To the family we’re born with, and to the family we make along the way . . . .”

…and, most importantly, to Richmond!”

This scene, and this line especially, have always resonated with me, as my family ~ both born to me and made along the way ~ are so indescribably  precious to me. But the sentiment resonates especially deeply with me this year, as Jim and I are at last able to be here, enjoying a quiet, loving yuletide season with our Hélène and her branch of our chosen family.

And though it may seem odd, even that “most important” last line of Higgins’s toast resonates, because Ted Lasso and all that it encompasses has become so intimately interwoven into the fabric of our lives ~ the series itself and the books it inspired us to create, which led us to this joyful opportunity to keep the love going by donating a dollar per book sold between 11/11/23 and 1/1/24 to the Steps of Faith Foundation, which we only learned of through Thundergong, which we only discovered because Jason Sudeikis was involved, which we only learned of because of Inge, a fan and beta tester of Lift It Like Lasso Vol 2, who shares a mutual friend in Billy Brimblecom Jr., reputed drummer extraordinaire as well as CEO and founder of Steps of Faith  . . . ~ well, I think you see, in part, where I’m going with this.

As of today, thanks to those of this larger Lasso family who have bought copies of Lift It Like Lasso (Vol 1 or Vol 2) since 11/11/23, our donation to Steps of Faith Foundation has now risen to (drum roll please): $328! That’s up another $46 in the last two weeks.

It’s just $46.  But to the amputee who gets a prosthetic in 2024, thanks at least in part to our donation, it’s $46 closer to the $500 cost of that prosthetic Steps of Faith has made possible ~ and that’s huge.

So, to all of you “Richmond” fans, Ted Lasso fans, members of the Lasso family ~ Thank You, from the bottom of my heart.

The donation promotion is still going on: If you want to keep the holiday spirit going beyond today, revisit Richmond through the interactive puzzles and word play in Lift It Like Lasso Vol 1 and/or Vol 2: In which we all believed in RomCommunism and, at the same time, you’ll be adding to our growing donation that will help Steps of Faith Foundation to buy a prosthetic for yet another amputee in 2024.

Barbecue Sauce!

Happy Holidays, all! Wishing you a New Year filled with Love, light, laughter, and most of all, Belief.

See you on the beach ~


(see the original blog post for the Steps of Faith donation promotion here: