What if you started out thinking everything was going to work out okay? Not necessarily wonderful or fantastic (at least at first), but at least okay?
We’re all going to have adversity in out lives. That’s okay. Because Nitzche was right: what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger, and in so many ways (see Malcolm Gladwell’s book David and Goliath).
It can also make you more confident, more successful, and ultimately, happier. Seems like a contradiction, doesn’t it, but wait ~ hear me out.
Here are 5 ways to create and spend more time in your own negativity free zone:
1. Flip your negativity switch to OFF ~ don’t tell me you don’t have one; we all do. Some of us just use it more than others. It’s a universe of complementary pairs ~ like the yin and yang. Every time you’re faced with something that could darken your day ~ choose to find the light instead.
2. Avoid drama trauma ~ and the people who promote it. Maybe it sounds harsh but we’re talking about self preservation here. That person you know who’s always engaged in drama ~ is that person happy? healthy? successful? well liked and respected? fun or comfortable to be around? Is he or she exactly the person you want to be? If you can’t avoid the person or situation for whatever reason, then protect yourself. For instance . . .
3. Avoid drama trauma.2 ~ “don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.” (One of my mama’s favorite expressions. ) Everything you hear from someone else is, necessarily, filtered through his or her own perceptions and is, therefore, his or her interpretation of reality, NOT yours. By the same token, everything you see is filtered through YOUR perceptions (made up of your experiences and the stories you’ve heard from trusted sources) and may not be entirely what you perceive it to be (honestly ~ how many times have you thought you knew what was going on in an intense situation only to find out later that it wasn’t what you thought at all?). You choose what to believe in every single situation (think about it) ~ so, again, choose to find the light.
4. Avoid drama trauma.3 ~ Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. You don’t know what’s going on with that person, can’t hear what he or she is thinking. Like Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book The Four Agreements: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” Project the best of intentions onto everyone. You have it in your nature to be generous and empathetic ~ so be that.
5. And finally: Change the story, change the channel, broadcast your own light (yes, you have one ~ in fact you ARE one!). When you start hearing and seeing negative ideas, either from others or from inside your own head, stop and change the story, change the channel ~ right then. When that little voice says something is going to be sad, scary, hurtful, etc. stop that thought in its tracks and, literally, say “No. That’s not what’s going to happen. THIS is what’s going to happen …” and recite the opposite, the version that is happy, confident, joyful. If the choice is between Jerry Springer and Oprah, always, always, always choose Oprah ~ she’s prettier and her guests are more uplifting (and usually have all their front teeth, etc.).
Want to be a happier, more comfortable, more confident person, and more successful in all areas of your life? Build your own negativity-free zone, and go there as often as you can.
See you on the beach.